Meeting My Charming New Gentleman Neighbor: A One-Act Play

Artvehicle 67/Play

ME: Hello! Do you live here? I’m your new neighbor Susan.

NEIGHBOR: Yeah, I live here when I live here, but I’m never here.

ME: I heard you were at the beach. Sounds nice.

NEIGHBOR: You have a lot going on. Painting. Not the colors I would have chosen.

ME: Oh. Well. The painters are really great.

NEIGHBOR: I don’t understand anything they say.

ME: Uh-huh.

NEIGHBOR: I told them they had to do something about this tree in your front yard. It’s growing into the wall, and the wall is going to fall down.

ME: Well, like I said, they’re painters, so they aren’t really doing anything about trees, but I’ll look into it.

NEIGHBOR: The wall is going to fall down. It’s your wall.

ME: Right.

NEIGHBOR: You buy this place with all cash or you take out a loan?

ME: Sorry?

NEIGHBOR: Did you pay cash for the house or take out a loan?

ME: Isn’t that kind of a personal question?

NEIGHBOR: No. Your grass is all messed up in the front yard.

ME: Yes, I haven’t really gotten around to that yet.

NEIGHBOR: People who lived here before were Albanian. From Albania. I couldn’t understand them either.

ME: Well, it’s been really great to meet you. I should probably get back to things.

Susan Harlan

Meeting My Charming New Gentleman Neighbor: A One-Act Play — 
Light Fantastik Photography at http://lightfantastik.com

Light Fantastik Photography at http://lightfantastik.com